How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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