That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
