Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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