I heard we made out
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
They have beer where we have blood.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
