how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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