3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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