6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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