He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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