I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
honey bunches of taint.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
