Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
