Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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