Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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