Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You were trust falling into bushes
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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