Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
