Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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