Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize