do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
