im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
