What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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