That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
