just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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