put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
