Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I FOUND THE LEGS
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
