Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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