hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
