I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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