Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I stole a fireplace last night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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