4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
