Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize