i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
