I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
