AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
