We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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