I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
