I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
