The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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