At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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