Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
