"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Bring me that man meat
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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