It's Friday. Sex?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
