her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
