i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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