Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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