I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
