I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
