i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
