how can u be prego again
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
