it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize