What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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