Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
