Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
