For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
