that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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