Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
