Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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