someone get that fucking seahorse.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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