now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
