Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
