Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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