am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
