I love black thongs
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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