Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
