I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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