I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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