It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
