I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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