does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
