question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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