you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
