a search helicopter?!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
