false alarm. still invincible.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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