you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
