I hate your face
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
