can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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