is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
should my penis look like a turkey
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
